Thanks for the advice... Our problems began because we never really began a deep relationship ~ we didn't know each other very well when we married. No affairs or anything, I've just often had a feeling that we couldn't communicate well enough to stay married. I've never been very attracted either. If it weren't for the kids, I problably wouldn't be trying to get myself over my anxiety to resume our marriage.
I also wonder why she wants to be married to me. That almost makes it harder because my feelings to her aren't as strong.
I was trying to do the 180 for parts of our separation. It is hard because I'm not sure if I should stay. I think you're right - I need to focus on trying to be a better and happier me. Does that mean I need to be married to my W to do that?
We were so close to divorce that it felt like bad but essential medicine.
Thanks again for your thoughts - more are welcome!
