How am I doing? I'm doing great. I have been at this for a very longtime and I'm surely not the same person that I was 8 years ago. I am very Blessed.
Oh yes Snodderly I have listened to him. I don't believe that you can trust anything that a MLC'r does, but words talk. For the first time he has apologized. Now in saying this I'm certainly not saying that we will be remarrying or anything. As I said, the days of wanting his apology has long passed, and I am in a much different place. In fact I now councel women faced with divorce so I have seen the repercussions from all angles. Truth is, I'm not sure that he fully understands that I'm not who he left. Even more then that, I am in a relationship that still needs to be figured out, but one that I'm not ready to give up.
Right now I am hoping that he will try to parent his children. He's been out of their lives for a longtime and as I told him, it will be tough! The other thing that needs to be taken into consideration is that his extended family (except for a very few) have pretty much thrown us away as well. Somehow this is even harder for me to reconcile. In a way all of these things together have shown me why he is the way he is. Oh he did try to tell me all through our marriage that he had no love for his Mother, but I couuldn't understand that. Now knowing how easy it was for his family to cast us aside and put their head in the sand helps me to see that the childhood damage he tried to tell me about was very real and deep. It's very healing to know without a doubt that there was very little that we can do to prevent this. The damage was done years before. We just happen to be in the line of fire when the shooting begins.
