I can see that I have really withdrawn from family and friends in the last 2 years. I am making it my priority to start getting those good times back. I will never come out of this depression if I don't get out like I used to and make time for family and friends.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
had a really rough week but going to spend some time with my friends this weekend.
H has been home from work a lot lately, they are on slow down there. He works nights and usually I can stay late at my work so I do not have to deal with him. However, since he has been at home a lot, I am having to play house. It sucks.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
Things have been stressful this month at home since H is not working as much. When I left for work one day last week, H leaned over and kissed me. I probably should have been glad but it made me so angry! How dare he think that he has the right to touch me anymore. I have asked him for a D. He is dead to me as a H. He does not get to touch me anymore!
So last Saturday we went out to eat together (I invited him)and told him that I did not like him kissing me, that when I told him the second affair was the last straw that I meant it and when I said I was leaving when S was finished with high school I meant it.
He said all the same things about how the 2nd one was just flirting, that she was 800 miles away, blah, blah. I told him that I had been waiting for him to work on us and instead he had spent his time with her, either online or on the phone and I was not going to be 2nd anymore. I was going to make myself 1st in my life even if he had no respect for me.
I guess this time he really believed me. He called me today after we fought (while trying to get my daughter's car out of the driveway..it was snowed in) and apologized for being an a$s. I do not even remember the last time he ever apologized to me (unless I forced it). Why do I not care when he acts like a jerk anymore? Now I am just angry that I said I would stay until S graduates. I have written H off and really just want him to leave.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
Well, it must be hitting him because he has been a jerk all day, complaining about this not being done and that not being done around the house. He even got up and cleaned most of it. It is a busy time at my work right now and I have not been worried about the house. He said he is going to move to NY when the kids are grown. Kinda pissed me off that he already had that decided when he was supposedly working on us. whatever
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
Feeling really lonely and unlovable today. I hate when Valentine's Day comes around.
H was better yesterday. I worked late so that helped. We have a snow day today so I get to stay in my pjs. But watching tv with all the love commercials is getting to me.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
Husband bought a big balloon and some flowers for me for Valentines Day. No card.
I did not get him anything. I felt bad but all I could say to him right now is thanks for helping create two wonderful kids. Anything else I would say would tick him off I am sure.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
