Why can't I just do it!?

[Dom R]

awww... i know how you feel, Trixi.

Today I have tears dripping from my eyes non-stop because it just keeps popping into my head that he really is saying that he isn't a man of integrity.

yup. that's what he's saying. you are right.
But there is no "cant" involved, as you wrote later. This is 100% a "wont".

However, that being said...

He keeps talking about how he needs to "make a decision and stick to it", and "stop being a pssy", and just "man up". Not exactly sounding like reconciliation to me. )#&$^!!

Actually.... it does to me. At least a first required step.

He is recognizing that he has been a total morally bankrupt schmuck. And for once, HE is saying, that he needs to "man up", rather than us, or you. So... that's progress?
Fickle wimps, (or little boys) cant make commitments.
Sounds like maybe he's considering exiting his MLC, and considering growing up into an adult.
(at 40. well, that didnt take very long.... )


The next question for you is: What actions on your part (and "doing nothing", or "doing the same thing" is a choice of actions) are going to best encourage him to "man up"?

Some people might say, that the best thing to do, would be for you to, GENTLY, and CARINGLY, say, "yes, you do need to 'man up'. You need to make a decision as to what is important to you, and live your life that way. You know that if you choose me, I will stick with you forever.
So now I will let you be, while you choose".

And then stand back, until he makes a decision. ie: go "grey", and stop doing things with him.

That's ONE approach. Another would be to just "cut back" a little.

Another, would be for you to take the initiative and bring up R talks every couple of days. Not EVERY day, but every couple. and ty to keep it short, and in a positive environment.
Doing something fun for an hour, but talk for 20 mins, or something like that?

I'm actually surprised in a positive way, that HE is the one recognizing his wimpiness now. Good luck to you.