The first question that comes to mind for me is how are you doing? I would take each and every day as it comes and try not to plan too far into the future.
If your xh is truly sorry and really realizes what he wanted was right there in his face all of the time, then I would listen to what he has to say and go from there. If you want him back in your life, start as friends and go from there. I do want to caution you that many will discover that they have grown from the experience and will have nothing left in the way of feelings for the other person. You will not know this until you venture forth a bit and begin anew as friends. Both of you have traveled the road w/many pot holes and have seen, heard and done things that you never imagined you would.
At the end of the road...only you can determine what the outcome will be. You've learned and grown so much during your journey...one day at a time, one step at a time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
