I get it! Instead of feeling a need to defend my intentions to you, I peeked at one of the websites that came up for putting your past behind you.
Personal growth happens personally. And what works changes over time. Imagine.. GAL being something real and ongoing, not a temporary measure while trying to regain what was lost. It was great reading a different perspective, too.
It's odd.. this post wasn't about name calling.. just that whatever terms are used reflect where you are. If only nasty terms apply, well.. that usually means a boatload of hurt.
But No Contact is another means of letting go.
I can Hip Hip Hurray how much happier I am this year and revel in it. Express a pissy moment, then let it go. I don't need folks calling Bill names to feel better.. in fact, I don't like it. It does nothing for me.
I'm meeting a college friend in NYC this coming weekend. Your post, Giovanni.. has been rumbling in my head about how I seem to be focused on the upcoming anniversary. I had no clue until this morning that the date I'm seeing my college pal is the anniversary of the divorce. It was just a good day to meet. Nothing more, nothing less.
Yet, in all of this, it's time to start creating my own life, that works for me. Sometimes 'helping' here hurts. Detachment is a fine line. I needed to live on this board at one point.. and now, it can go counter towards being helpful to others and harmful to me. Yet it's all a choice.
That site I stumbled upon was so helpful on so many levels. I think I'll peek in there more often to keep going in the right direction.
A relationship for me? Don't know, am not going to look. I'm the type who's great until I get too close then turn into a clinging vine, subservient and submissive. I want to be independent, loving the 'me' and accepting a healthy interaction rather than getting lost in someone else.
Goodness me, am I learning how to behave in ways that work.. for me.. and not needing others to validate who I am as a person. Be whole... and share in all the right ways.
