Bestrong, check in with us! Hope you are busy due to fun reasons and not sad ones!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I am in a funny place right now emotionally - not sure what brought it on - I have shed a lot of tears in the last few days.
I haven't had any contact with WH, so that's not it. We are having a terrible cold spell - no hot water since this morning, schools closed until Thursday...
A horse had been left outside in the cold overnight in the field behind our house - we noticed it only this morning and the guards were called and it was finally "rescued" this afternoon - it was just laying there - frozen stiff - the poor thing - I hope the owner gets to pay at least a huge fine... idiot.
I need to get things fixed in the house and I guess I am angry that WH just left me alone with a house half finished(we only bought in 2007) – it feels like it’s falling apart around me.
And then there is another thing which is playing on my mind a lot lately. Maybe you guys can give me an opinion on this situation. I will explain after why I am bringing this up:
A Wife goes through husbands phone and finds in his sent items texts to another woman - here husband's eplanation: He went to the pub with a mate of his and the mate's phone's battery went dead - so he borrowed husbands phone to send texts to his girlfriend. Mate takes his SIM and puts it into husbands phone and sends the texts. Wife bursts into tears and asks husband if he is sure that story is true. Husband gets really mad, storms upstairs and starts packing his suitcase and threatens to leave the wife. She pleads and beggs and cries and he finally stops packing and stays.
NO I would NOT believe that husband! Is it yours? Maybe you have been crying because you are grieving the part of you letting go of the rope. I totally understand about the house, and I think DBD does, too. I could care less about staying in this house if we D because 1) too many memories 2) there is no way I could keep up with it by myself!!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
yes, it's my husband but here comes the twist - we got married in 2003 and it happened in 2004
The story never got confirmed - which choice did I have then believing him - he threatened to leave back then.
I guess what I am getting at - if the story was a lie and he was cheating back then and never admitted it and then went abroad a year later - you can bet this has happened several times as he got away with it including the co-worker which would make my complete marriage a lie.
I have a question for you--do you feel like no one believes what your gut tells you is true? Or do you just need WH to admit it?
The reason I ask is it seems sometimes like you are trying to find proof of all of this so you are not crazy, but on the outside looking in, I can tell you are right and WH is lying!!! about it all! I do realize you need proof for adultery to divorce, right?
SO did the coworker ever communicate with you?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
newmama, I think it's both but it's mainly for myself - I have been given advice to just accept that he is gone and get IC but that's not really the issue - I am not mourning anymore that he is gone - I want to know if my memories are real or not or if I was married to a liar. I think I have the right to know and if he thinks I don't then I have to get it somehow else.
As it stands right now I am messed up for any future relationship and I won't accept that. As it stands I don't believe anyone anymore, doubting everything and that's just me.
Take i.e. the story with the tenant after we split- I never believed the story - nobody else did either but it only hit home when he admitted that it was a lie before X-Mas - until then there was always the chance that he spoke the truth.
The co-worker went straight away to him instead of talking to me and I had only sent her my email address - I didn't even ask questions yet.
I am exploring a few other options right now but of course it's very difficult as I left it so long.I know it sounds like I am obsessed and to a certain extent I probably am. I was never in a situation like this before.
Some good news for a change - had an interview on friday and will know on Tuesday if I got a new job which would be great.
I will not use infidelity in our divorce case even if I can proof it in future - it's not about that - I don't want revenge or anything - it's just for me.
Congrats on your job interview!!! Is it part time or full time?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I will not use infidelity in our divorce case even if I can proof it in future - it's not about that - I don't want revenge or anything - it's just for me.
But if you can prove infidelity does it not allow you a quicker divorce?
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
P17, it makes no difference for the divorce - with infidelity I could get a legal separation straight away and not wait one year but at this stage we have close to 7 months anyway. eeIt really makes no difference.
Can I ask you what you think about the text messages story?
