well, consider this: Why is it the stereotype that women are the ones to drag the men off to counselling, etc?
Because its usually women that have the whole "plan for the relationship". Men who care, may grumble, but they recognize this and follow along. 'cause if it was up to them, they'd just make a mess of it, 'cause they're clueless.
Go be that woman.
Your husband may even be expecting you to be that woman, and figures "that's the female role". So... dont put him in the position of being "the female". Fully take on that role yourself: maybe that's what he's waiting for? Kinda sounds like it to me.
before, you have been pressuing him to "commit" to a very vague, nebulous "life with you", but "life with you", is very vague to him at this point. it could go a lot of ways. he doesnt know how it's going to be like, so maybe thats why he wont commit. tough to "commit" to something, when that something is a vague squishy lump.
So give him your plan. Stop looking for "his input" on it, just make the plan yourself, as good as you can. Then give it to him.
Be as specific as possible. Let him know in detail, how its going to work. Cautious unsure men dont want to hear a very vague, "yes we'll be together and we'll have fun trust me". They might feel more comfortable with , "we'll make sure to go [up to the mountains?] every year. ANd dont worry we'll do [boating trip too]. And how about [...] that you've always wanted to do? And if you always try to be nice to me and make sure to always [whatever makes you feel better about him], I'll be all over you at least 3 times a week!"
It's another stereotype that men like to focus on actions, rather than feelings. for most men, it is TRUE! See how the above focuses on actions? that will probably make him a bit more comfortable.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
