Dusk at Dawn.

[newmama]

I do not think those who have not had children understand that sacrifice. And it is a bitter sacrifice when it falls apart. One feels that they wasted those years and they know that they did not. Its very conflicting.

Cutter, I know I reluctantly made some comment about it being easier to go NC without kids or to be able to start anew or something like that. I do not think that it will be easy by any means! All of those years together, the investment, the memories, the fun, the sad, and all of that time spent with one person.... it will be very difficult. I wish I didn't make that comment. It was wrong.

Now, as for the separation, for me, it would still feel like the marriage wasn't completely over because it's not D. Not that I am saying for you to hang on, but I think back to March when WH and I were originally going for D. Due to insurance reasons, we switched to Separation. I must say that it seemed to offer me some comfort that our marriage was not dissolved; just put on hold. Now we never signed anything legal but it is still a separation. So how do you see it? Separation versus divorce? Does anything I said make sense to you?

Do you wish to hash out more ideas for what to say to her when you sign the separation papers? I just don't want you to have expectations that she will say "you're right...let's not do this" on that day.

This is hard because do you want her to know that maybe in the future you would be willing to reconcile but just not now? But then she might think you will still be "waiting" for her. Maybe sometime in August, before September when she or you could file for D, you could check in with her.Sorry, I don't know your plans and maybe you don't know either. Sorry to ramble, Cutter! This is very difficult for sure.