Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

Thanks CityGirl, I am!!

Right now I am writing down all of the hurtful things my W has done to me or during our M. It is already a long list!

[CityGirl]

You need to foucs on YOU for today. You have spelled out many times on this thread alone what your W has done.

Forget her for today. Today MUST be about you.

[kara]

SD

I think breaking it down into manageable bits hour by hour is an excellent idea. We share your pain and we have been there. You can do this. You can do this for yourself and your boys.

Hope the list doesn't take the whole day!

[Gnosis]

And if that doesn't trigger off any anger... then I don't Gno!

While that list is building, let the emotion flow. Don't suppress it. This is why I called it a "purge."

One more thing that really helped me was to read other peoples threads and help them. It becomes therapeutic and because you're removed from their situation you can see their mistakes clearer. When you're writing out a response to them, it helps formulate thoughts in your own mind about your own situation.

[givingitmyall]

I completely agree with Gnosis about reading and posting to others' threads. That is the reason (or one of them) why I have so many posts.

[SoldierDad]

All,

thank you so much. I truly, deeply appreciate your efforts to help me.

I am deeply humbled that complete strangers offer so much to help others.

Seeing what I see everyday, it is truly wonderful to see humans caring about each other, not trying to destroy each other.

Gnosis, I have started posting to others, especially to Another Soldier-we have alot in common!

I read ALOT of the threads on here as well, and I know my sitch is bad, but some of them are downright nasty. I hope one day to be able to contribute as much as all of you do, to the people in need. That is another of my goals.

All I have to say right now is: THANK YOU FOR CARING ENOUGH TO SHARE YOUR WISDOM AND THOUGHTS.

[Virtually_Handsome]

I've been reading along, not posting a lot.

The thing that strikes me is that you are fighting your imagination. You take the little you know of what she has done, and your imagination has taken over and turned it into more than one person could probably do!

Try to remember that you really just don't know, and don't try to guess. Remember that you can't control her. It seems that you've taken some small bit of evidence (I yes, there is some reality) and turned it into a huge monster under the bed. You've never seen it, but you've convinced yourself that it's there.

Please remember that your first job now is to keep you, and those around you safe. The rest can wait.

[SoldierDad]

VH,

My mind does tend to roam, always has.

I know what I know, and really, that is enough.

But for some reason, I LOVE to torture myself, by speculatiing on what she is doing. I need to fix this, and am working on it.

My absolute first priority is the safety and well being of my Soldiers. Their families are counting on me to bring them all home.

I am only taking on what I can handle from now on. I REFUSE to take on more than what I can handle-it isn't healthy. Besides God won't give me more than what I can handle!!!

[TrentC]

What was your life at home like before you got deployed? I mean, originally?

[bluerain]

Hi SD, I know that medication isnt an option for you because of your position. And to be honest, I think that you could benefit immensely from it. But have you looked into the Vitamin B-12 supplements? The liquid that you put under your tongue.

It has helped lots of people with anxiety problems, which I see in spades in this thread.