You *really* need to get it together. This must start today. What will you do to make that happen?
You have the info and the tools - use them.
There are many, many women on this forum and most of us will tell you when men constantly whine, wallow, remain needy and clingy, show very few (or NO) manly traits and fail to make basic decisions it is a major turn off.
No woman, no matter how capable and smart, wants to be the "man" in a R. Mourn and grieve the loss of your marriage in private but stop letting it consume you. All it is doing delaying all the work you must do.
It is not easy, it hurts, it is unfathomable and painful but you have to start somewhere.
People that cheat lie. Most human beings understand unhappiness does not excuse cheating. People feel guilt and their reactions to guilt are all the same. In fact, most WAS's are the most boring and predictable people on the planet (hence the constant use of the word "script" or "textbook"). Not a one of them is unique. When they are caught they will bash and blame to remove the focus off their transgressions. It is basic reverse psychology yet somehow we are all fooled by it (myself included a long time ago).
Why would you WANT to go to counseling with a woman that has cheated on you and lied about it AND laughed at you when you set a boundary (she doesn't respect you)? At this time (that doesn't mean forever but you need to work in the present) counseling would be a waste of both time and money. Are you seeing a counselor? Maybe you should consider it. Many of us can attest to the tremendous assistance a solutions based C provided us with.
