Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

I just want all of these thoughts, emotions and pain to stop. That's all.

I just want to be happy again.

It hurts so bad, KNOWING the woman I love more than any other, is making love other men, and doesn't even think of the consequences. It's just so desrespectful.

I wish I could just press a button and all the thoughts, images, and words would go away.

I just want to heal, I just want to get angry, I just want to know what the future holds for me, because right now, it ain't looking so good for old SoldierDad.

Ya, I'm really swinging today. Back and forth, up and down.

WHY CANT I JUST BE DONE WITH HER?

NO ONE DESERVES THIS-NO ONE.

I need someone, anyone, to tell me the truth-am I just spinning my wheels with this woman? Am I wasting my time and energy on someone who doesnt deserve it? Am I completely crazy for even caring one iota about this woman-the woman that has repeatedly crushed me and my feelings?

What the hell am I doing trying to save this shambles that is my Marriage?

Honestly, why should I continue to care?

Jeez, I am really wound up...