Right, so the question you have asked is one I have asked myself a thousand times already, and I am only two months in (bomb right after Thanksgiving, A had been going on since September) - How dark is dark?
The fact is, only you can answer this. I know it is miserable. You want to call, to have a reason to call so you can justify it. But contacting him is opening a door to hurt you. Every time you are in contact with him it will remind you of the A, even if he doesn't talk about it outright. You deserve better than a constant reminder of this. Let him think you've moved on. Someone here very cleverly and none to gently told me - you've already lost him. He left you for her; don't let him take your self-respect with him.
cutterbug>>
Originally Posted By: cutterbug
Do not respond. He is going to have to hit rock bottom. Let him go. Let him experience the complete loss of you and his family.
He's absolutely 100% right. I was pregnant and sitting in a jail cell when I finally hit rock bottom, so understand that it can be a long fall. My H took our vehicle, our finances, and only left our son with my parents because he had no child care set up, and as a soldier had to have some care plan in place. Rock bottom is different for everyone, but you will probably know when he's there (I don't promise that). But once he is, it becomes painfully clear what he stands to lose and may have already lost.
I am proud of your boundaries -it shows you respect yourself and know you deserve better than what he is trying.
PDT - Why don't you outline a transparency plan for us, please. I think it would be very useful to many.
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
