I got pretty at the salon. Then I did a little shopping at the mall and got a nice suit for work. I treated myself to lunch at one of my favorite restaurants. I was supposed to meet some friends this evening but I am a little tired so I decided to stay in.
This is the part I can't believe. I have been at home listening to some of my favorite CDs and even to the love songs. Usually since the bomb I would skip all the love songs but I just realised that this past week I have been able to listen to love songs without gagging. I can even sing the words, I find this amazing now that I think about it. So there I was in my house dancing around and belting out the fast songs and that crooning the slow ones. My neighbours must think I have lost it bigtime!
I had a moment today at the mall when I missed H and the fact that we would have been planning what to do or where to eat on a Saturday night. We would usually call each other around that time and make our plans for later. I missed him and that part of us so intensely for a few minutes there. I thought I was going to get all weepy but somehow I didn't.
Mr Kara should be back from his Christmas break sometime this week. Today it struck me as funny that I don't know where my H is and I am actually fine. (He texted me again early this week). If you had told me a year ago that this was possible I would have asked you what you were smoking.
I dunno, maybe I am finally doing this letting go thing. Hope so.
You sound like you are in such an amazing place! What a great way to spend your Saturday. I still have trouble with love songs (and love scenes in movies) even though I'm piecing! So, I can imagine how that must have been for you. And, here you are singing along and feeling more detached. Wow!
Oh, and about the convention, cupcakes, wine, purses etc....
You're doing so well! I think you are definitely letting go if you aren't worrying about where H is and continue to just focus on being the best you that you can be. You are in a very good place!
Thanks for dropping in and thaks for your encouragement,always.
Quick note - I had no choice but to get positive. I am no stronger than anyone else. When my doctor told me late last year that I was very stressed out and explained all the physical symptoms that I was manifesting and explained to me the potential for harm if I did not get a handle on it, I said to myself ENOUGH. That day I said I will not do this to myself anymore. So in a literal sense it was about survival. That was one of the real things that helped to turn me around.
