Because of our D's, I have not been able to go dark either. The best I can do is dim. I only see H once a week and usually have one phone convo a week re: D's.
I still get angry sometimes, mostly b/c of communication stuff. Like all of us, I want answers. I've managed to get a few and I have been surprised by some of them.
The thing that has worked best for me is to take my walks and workout.
I like what Cat said about forgivness, but the most powerful thing for me was to forgive myself for his leaving.
I know that may sound odd, b/c I don't believe I derserved this either. The fact in my case is, I am harder on me than he could ever be. I have a huge empathy bone and in giving myself a break in some areas and staring in the mirror and being brutal in others, I have managed to let go of alot and really see him. We are so much alike that in having compassion for myself, I find more for him as well.
