She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Awoken]

Kara and Sister: thanks. It's a hard night. I was glad to log back in and see some replies.

D17 and S13 are now surprising calm. they are playing rockband on the xbox. I wish I had their composure. I'm calm in front of them. I just made them dinner, then ran upstairs when I felt my feelings coming to the surface again.

W left the house. She tried to give me a hug before she left and said "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you". I couldn't look at her.

I'm getting angrier. I mean, all these years she's never asked for MC, she's never bought one relationship book. There have been problems, and when I confronted her about her emotional distance she always said I needed to be patient with her and it was a product of her meds/her bi-polar/her past, that she wanted to be married forever and I needed to trust her. When her friend surprised her H with a divorce, we talked openly about how bad it was for their kids that they never tried any MC. I know I've missed so many things, and I've been neglectful, but after three months of self examination I honestly don't think she has tried.
I've read smart cookies post and seriously reconsidered where my W may be coming from. I can't remember a single R talk that my W started. It's always been me wanting to work on our M.

So I have to ask myself, why would I want to be married to someone like this? I understand this, but not in my broken heart.

I just took off my ring.