Sounds like she is a "victim" and if she never directly answers your question, that it can be "your fault" because "she never said she wanted to get a divorce".

She is twisting in the wind because her own choices are coming to bite her in the ass and she desperately wants THINKER to be at fault for her unhappiness.

Good on you for not taking the bait!

Me-43
H-46
M 12 yrs 7/09
T 15
2 grown kids
bomb 7/05/07
H moved out 8/04/07
11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling
Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D
End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing