Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

First half of the day just odd. After D's dance lesson, I am nice and TM W to ask if she wants a starbucks. Not pursuing, but what I have done every weekend and she would do the same. She says yes, and when I take the coffee up to her in the house, I find her using her computer on the bathroom countertop. She says she is still in a fog from the medication and just needs peace and quiet and can't get that with other daughter in the bed with her.
Holy cow, this after the guilt of being an uninvolved mother. Well this gets me angry again, but I handle it, I don't show it. I am right back to wanting out of the house and not wanting my kids to see their mother ignore them again. So I tell her I'll take them to McDonalds to play. She says I don't need to do that. I said I want to do that. She says but they haven't eaten and I say we'll eat at McDonalds. She stops fighting me. Win-win excpt for the fact the older daughter was openly disappointed that mommy wasn't going with us. I get out of the house and W thinks I'm doing her a favor. She came up to me and give me a big hug goodbye, that was surprising.
Getting away for another 90 minutes or so did me a world of good. This is also one of the first times in a long time where I created a situation where she could make contact with OM and I didn't even think about it or worry about it. That was a small step for me. I felt much better after I came back and started watching my team in the football playoffs. She finally snapped out of the funk and took the girls to a skiing lesson and I am alone at the house watching football. Again, good for me I think.
She is in a foul mood already, kids stressed her out getting ready for ski lesson.
Something is going on in her brain, don't have a clue what. She never used to be so impatient, she never used to get so upset so quickly when the kids were being kids, and she never used to spend so little time with them. I can see her temper flare in her face over the littlest things these days, most often by something I do but also with the kids. Spending so little time with the kids is truly bothering her, I can tell, but she isn't changing her ways when she can. I fully now realize there is nothing I can do, but make sure I am filling in for the kids and they see no gap in attention and love.
My only guess is our "situation" is bothering her more than she will say outloud. how or why don't know, at this point, I don't care as she doesn't treat me like last night.

Sandi - I love the idea of going out for an ice cream. Yes there is snow on the ground. I could see me using that one in the future. I also love the line of that isn't attractive, like you said that can be used for almost anything, I'll remember that one.