I know there is no guarantee we will be together. He told me if I contact him again instead of 6 months it will be 8. He's being abusive and I don't like it. Perhaps I do need to change my attituted and I need to stop seeing it like if it's not now it won't be ever. That's the main thing that's upsetting him. That I won't be patient with him. But I'm scared. I don't want to loose him. I love him with all my heart and soul. I would do anything for him.
I will begin looking for a job and I will start my classes soon. I dropped my class for January because I didn't know where I would be. But now that I am home and he's agreed to continue paying half of the bills I will be ok with the kids.
Getting use to not having him at home with me will take me time. But I will have to manage. I will do as you suggest and not contact him about our relationship. I will keep my distance until he returns on his own. Like the saying says, if you love someone let them free, if they return then it was meant to be. I guess I'm just scared he will never return.
He tells me he yells and screams because it's his way of telling me to give him space. He's despreat and feels yelling is the only way he can shock me into listening to him. He told me to explain to him what I had understood. I told him he doesn't want to talk about us because he sounds like he hates me, doesn't want to know anything about me, and doesn't love me any more. He told me that's not right, he doesn't hate me, he just needs space. That it is actually the complete opposite. He says when I contact him, I'm disrespecting his wishes and he becomes upset.
I love him and I don't want to loose him. But I guess every minute of the day I loose him more and more.
