Don't know where to post this.

[TooLateForMe]

For me all I wanted out of the marriage was what she was giving me already before this all started.

My lesson is that you should always be moving forward, adapting and evolving, in or out of a R. If you were settling for what you had, that was part of the problem.

What she wanted from me was to tell her I was proud of her and her accomplishments, that she was beautiful and the only woman in the world to me, and for me to listen to her when she had a complaint instead of shutting her down because I did not want to hear nagging.

Many of us are guilty of this. Lesson learned, hopefully. But I have a feeling this is primarily a symptom of a greater problem, one deeper in a person's personality. I think it's about not being deeply connected w/ your spouse.

I accept most of the fault in the breakdown of the marriage.

No. Accept YOUR mistakes and hers and don't put blame. Assigning a bad guy role to yourself is as fruitless and self-defeating as dumping the blame on your W. We each have specific character flaws that lead to where we are. Correct them in order to improve YOUR life.

STOP cuddling and making out w/ your wife as long as she is seeing OM!!! You don't deserve a divided marriage. It will destroy you. Just stop. When she innocently asks "what's wrong?" lay it out. Not mean or angry. You're not interested in sharing the love of your life with another man. If she's not interested in just you, let her know you're not compromising about this and will find a woman who will be with you and only you.

If you are willing to share her, let me tell you that I have seen plenty of open relationships. They have all ended in heartache and chaos.