WAW in affair. Help!

[Norm914]

Journaling (which I need to do much more than I have been doing):

I’ve stayed away from this board for about a week, although I glance at it occasionally. I find that reading it gets me down. So many people hurting. And it causes me to obsess about my sitch, which doesn’t seem healthy. Still, there are so many here who need support and the virtual ((((hugs)))). It’s not just about me. That’s my new motto.

Something Puppy wrote the other day struck a chord with me. With regard to spouses who are involved with an A he said (not an exact quote), “We can’t control them, but we don’t have to make it easy for them.” He’s right as always. So, I’ve decided to change tack.

Up to now, I’ve been very friendly with OM at the gym in order to keep the guard down. Now that the guard is up, I’m doing a 180. I’m going to SUDDENLY STOP being friendly. I won’t be overtly mean or nasty. But I will be COLD AS ICE. I’m going to make that guy as uncomfortable as I possibly can. I’m going make the both of them wonder what I know and/or how I know it. No more Mr. Niceguy.

I suspect W will just write it off. But I don’t think OM will. He has too much to lose. I’m going to make him as nervous as a cat in a room full of rockers.

I don’t have to stand idly by and watch this happen like a helpless baby, and I won’t. I’m done being the victim and I’m going on the offensive. Yes, W will get pissed. Let her. As someone else wrote, our marriage can handle her anger, but it cannot handle her adultery.

On another note, W came over today to get some of her stuff and brought a mutual female friend to help her. I cheerfully helped them pack her stuff and load it into their cars. Initially, I dreaded this. But when it was over, I got to give myself an “Atta boy!” I stayed strong, and I know she noticed. The “old” Norm – pre DB – would have been a basket case. Thanks guys!! Thanks to you guys, I knew what to do and how to do it.

Thanks to all who read and post. I love you all and my heart goes out to every one of you.

Norm