nope it's not different, I'm not too concerned what your mc says, ask her how successful she is, how many marriages she's saved, I'm sure she'll waffle on that answer.
Although her childhood issues are traumatic, you didn't cause them. You may have been an ass and hurt her self-esteem but I think the affair wasn't caused by your recent comments, I think it's been in the works for quite some time, you only caught wind of it recently.
She is seeking validation, external validation, she needs help from a counsellor to help her learn how to boost her self-esteem and internally validate herself.
My advice still stands, it's still applicable.
As for the sex and her saying she has a lower sex drive, look at the recent events, she's having sex with 2 men and probably regularly, if anything I would say her sex drive is stronger than yours, she just can't explain it and neither can you.
Let her have the OM and remove yourself from the list of options, she's having an affair right now plain & simple and you are trying to enable her with all of these excuses.
