Feeling "slightly more daring," Virginia? I hope you understand that question/statement.
In the Carpe Diem sense ... yes ... in the American Lit Walt Whitman historical genre ... not so much!!
Captain - your post earlier this week was the first of a series of messages or "signs" I've been sent over the rest of the week that have provided the beginnings of some really fundamental thinking and healing for me. Thank you.
The thought, or feeling, that "something is wrong" is a powerful and at times debilitating mind set and I've been a victim of that for too long.
The MWD Divorce Busting (and SSM) philosophy is based around the premis that the only thing we have the capacity to change is our own thought and behaviour patterns. By changing our own behaviour, the behaviour of those around us will change in response. I've learned a lot over the past few years by understanding that. Your post took me to the next step (and it's been a theme of your writing, but one I only just "got")to truely understanding it's only "wrong" if I think it's wrong.
I finally understood when I read that post that it's not what happens to me it's how I react to what happens to me. Likewise, it's not what I think it's what that thinking makes me feel (ie wrong, not good enough, unworthy etc).
Quote:
But, as an adult, you can notice it and, once noticed, look to see what path you might choose, including the conversation of the 5-year old that once told you "something's wrong." You asked about being able to disassociate, this is part of it too, but I call it awareness
I didn't understand this - but over the course if this week I've come to. I've realised this week that we all have foolish ideas about who we are - and many, many rigid rules about how life ought to be lived - but we can change those rules. I can change those rules for me so they suit a 39 year old woman, rather than an adolecent girl ... I hadn't gotten around to doing that.
Yesterday I picked up a book that I bought 5 years ago when I first left my husband. Louise Hay, You can heal your life. I read it at the time, but obviously I wasn't ready for all the lessons she has to teach.
Ms Hay's hypothosis is that what we THINK about ourselves becomes the truth for us. She considers that we are all responsible for eveything in our lives, the best and the worst. Every thought we think is creating our future. Each one of us creates our experience by our thoughts and our feelings. (She even lists physical illnesses and suggests they all have their root in some way of thinking or a belief about ourselves that we create ... eg - Menstrual problems - rejection of one's femininity. Guilt, fear. Belief that the gentials are sinful or dirty or Cancer - Deep hurt. Longstanding resentment. Deep secret or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatreds. "What's the use?" and my personal favourite because it's a huge health issue for the Indigneous people I work with and nothing has ever made more sense to me than this explanation ... Carbuncle (boils) - Poisonous anger about personal injustices(and here I thought it was about nutrition and hygiene)!!!!
It's all about awareness. It's not about making myself less involved in what's going on around me in order to "disassociate" it's being sufficently aware of what's going on and why to be aware of how appropropriate or not any reaction to the situation is. Aha..!!!!
Thank you for taking the time to discuss those issues in your post. You've helped me break through a mental block that I've been grappling with for a really long time. I'm very grateful.
I head back to the bush today to return to work after 4 weeks with friends and family in my home state. I'm excited about what this new thinking and understanding means for me and I'm looking forward to what the new year will bring.
Thanks again. V
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
