She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Awoken]

W just told me that she saw her lawyers on Monday and she has filed for D. She will give me the papers sometime next week.
At least she isn't having me served.

Somehow she thought that collaboration and mediation where the same things. Her lawyers (a very expensive firm) want her to do collaboration.

I was pretty calm when she told me. I asked her for some details of what she was asking for in the divorce. She said we could work out 50/50 custody depending on what we work out. She says she is asking for spousal support, but the amount isn't determined. I thought that those things were specified in the filing papers, but I guess I'll have to wait to find out.

My hands are shaking, and I've got an odd mix of distress and calm which is pretty scary. She just left to go swimming, and I'm home supervising the kids while they visit with friends. I need to hold it together until late tonight.

I told my W that we needed to tell the kids what was going on before the weekend of was over, and better tonight than right before they go back to school. She finally agreed. She said I'm going to "throw her under the bus". I said, "No I won't, I'll say that I love her and I'll respect her decision. I won't lie to my kids especially since they already know intimately that she is the one that wants out of the M".

this is gonna be so hard. I've been preparing but I honestly wasn't expecting this so soon. Today is three months since the bomb.

Friends, today I need your support more than ever.