Not Me...Ever part 2

[SDFoundGirl]

Serenity,

It's hard to see it, but anger is actually a step forward and a sign you are doing better overall. The low end of emotions is despair/depression/hopelessness; anger is higher on the scale. Is it a place you want to stay? No, but to visit it for a while with *no* apologies or tearing yourself up about it is HEALTHY.

Anger is a normal, natural, human emotion!

My suggestion: Go on a rampage of anger. Get out your journal, and write everything you're angry about, and everything you hate about your sitch/H. DON'T CENSOR! Whatever comes, just write it. I did this exercise about my mother after a pretty tense visit (we're not very close anyway), and I wrote things like I hated the way she chewed her food. Sounds ridiculous, but I wrote it along with other more normal things.

This may take days or even weeks. Keep that journal with you, and when you find that anger bubbling up, write it some more. Write it until it's all out of you and on the page.

After that, you have some choices. I suggest burning all the pages once you think you've gotten it all out. It's symbolic, but rituals do help us. Whatever you do, don't reread it more than once, and don't hang on to it. Let the pages go once you've moved through the anger.

If you find it pops up again, repeat the process. This is part of cleansing and of getting those thoughts symbolically out of your body. Imagine that you're giving all those angry feelings to God as you write them.

I think you're doing great. Remember, you ARE human! You have grown so strong and smart during your time here, and you are going to come out the other side of this better off for the experience. And I promise you, someday you WILL look back and find the gift of this experience.

SD