'' I had an awakening this morning"

[acsnow]

Just an update on my sitch.

I am still out of the house and do not have any interest on moving back anytime soon. She has also put deadbolt locks on doors as well.

I just could not believe that there was OM in the picture,but there is.

A few weeks ago my W and I had to go pick up a car for D17 that we purchased. The person we bought the car from is also divorced. When we got to the house to pick up the car I commenting about the nice house this guy had. He was saying how he just built this dream house for his W. He came home from hunting trip back in Sept and everything was gone. His W had been seeing someone for 9 months.

The interesting thing is that my W had no reaction at all. Usually she would of made some kind of comment. It made me wonder if she was feeling guilty about something.

The following Tuesday I was at my house to pick up my mail and as I was walking out of the garage and I noticed a envelope taped to the garbage. It said:

OM,
You are probably going to have to get some dump stickers. Thank you so much. Signed my W.

So now I am thinking who OM is. So I left and my cell phone rang and it was my D17. She was asking me if i was just at the house. I did not know she was home sick. I told her yes and I asked her who this person was the envolpe was adressed to. I know I probably should not of asked her and I was not but she called me and it just came out.

She told me that this OM was just a friend and that he was taking garbage to dump for mom and was giving her a price on fixing front door, and also dead bolt locks.

I said they are just friends? Not boyfriend girlfriend. D17 said they where just friends. I immediatly txt W and she called me back. W said they were just friends (thats what they alway say)and that he was doing some work for her. She also said that it was non of my buisness who she is friends with.

She had mentioned that she was in no hurry to file papers. I asked her what she ment by that. Her comment was that she is in no hurry because it would be hard on me financially.

I did make it clear to her that I did not want a divorce but I accept her decision. And I did say she was making a mistake. I also said to her that not once have you even wanted to try to reconcile.

Fastforward to this past Monday. One of my co-workers came up to me after work and said to me that he herd from a reliable source that my W and this OM were seen at a casino 1hr away New Years Eve and that my W had her arm around him and was either kissing him on cheek or whispuring in his ear while he was sitting at a slot machine.

I immediatlly called W and all I said was that I know about her and OM new years and that it was over between us and that she would be hearing from my lawyer. She txt me back and respected my decission to call on lawyer and she said again that her and this OM where just friends. She also said this happened after we were seperated.

Even if it did happen after we were seperated, she has been saying to me right along that it is not me, I want to be alone and indipendant, and I have to be happy with myself first be fore I have any relationships. I guess it did not take her very long.

Couple of questions is that I don't know if I should go file myself, let her file, tell my D17 what going on? I am just so confused.

She did say that she wants us to come to agreement on financal stuff assets etc. before she goes in files. She does not want get lawyers involved. I have an appt with lawyer on Friday.

I have been riding to and from to ours D17 basketball games with W and sitting together as well. Except for this past week and future games I can't sit with her anymore and I can't even be in the same space with her right now. I am just so angry, resentfull, and hurt. I did let my D17 know that I was not going to sit with mom anymore at games and she understood.

I do know who this OM is. I talked to him at store where I work this past fall. He is married, his wife has alhiemerze, has couple kids. He is at least 10 yrs older than my W. From what I have hearing from other peaple he is scum. He had made a comment to somebody 3 or 4 months ago that I did not order this disease for my wife. Almost as if to say it was ok to seek comfort in OW.

What ever happened to wedding vows: till death do us part, in sickness and in health. There should be some law that the person that breaks that committment should be penalized.
Sorry for the long post.