Mixed Signals or is this Limbo Land

[MHL]

Well, the appt for the MC session is confirmed for Wednesday, Jan 13 and noon. I asked for this session to set up some boundries and talk about other things so things like last Sat. night, don't happen again. The last time we had a joint session was in Oct. and she lied through her teeth about dating anyone and wanting to give the M a chance. Lots of stuff has gone on since then, alot of pain. The last 3 or 4 weeks have been good between me and my W, I started treating as a friend despite her open and outright infidelity. It has been difficult but I must say that I feel better treating her with love and trying to be her friend rather than shutting her out and hoping she will miss me and want to come back.

The other factor in this is that we have both Lawyered UP and she filed a complaint for Spousal Support, Sole Custody, Equitable Distribution of Assets and Compensation for legal Fees, Yeah!! Tried to negotiate with her lawyer and let him know half of nothing is nothing but I think he thinks I have some money stashed away somewhere which I don't. So I am meeting with a Lawyer on Monday, probably $3-$4K to hammer out a separation agreement that isn't going to be worth more than $10k either way, its just spending money I/we don't have.

Other than all that crap I would say that my W and I are getting along great. No kidding, pleasant when we exchange S9, smiles, cordial nice no animosity just friendly. I think I have mostly detatched, I actually have to really force myself to think about things in order to get myself down. The moments I am down are just that "moments" and they pass quickly on their own. I still love my wife and care about her but the romantic love is gone or almost gone.

I had asked her on Sunday after the Saturday nite FB/Bar incident, if she wanted to try to work on the M. I said what do you have to lose? In 8 months if it doesn't work you still get your Divorce so what do you think? She said she would consider it, translate.....No. We talked more on Sunday about R and sitch than we have in 4 months. On Tuesday at kid exchange I asked if we could meet with MC to set up some "boundries" so things like Saturday nite would not happen anymore. Really no need for MC session to acheive that but what the h*ll, why not? This could be an opportunity to peak inside the alien and see if my wife is still there.

Not sure of my agenda, I don't want to wing it but at the same time I would like to hear more of what she is thinking no matter what it is. Do I try to see if she wants to work on the M, do I confront infidelity in front of the MC, do I demonstrate that I will be nice moving forward b/c it is better for me, do I try to tell her how her actions have destroyed and hurt the family, do I try to explain that we have a better chance of finding happiness again than each of us finding it with someone else at this stage in life 42 yrs old, do I try to point out that there is no such thing as a good or happy Divorce, or do I cancel the appt and "Drop the Rope"?