"but she isn't trying to be the best spouse she can for me". So what is the definition of the "best spouse"? Should she do all the laundry, cook all the food, take full care of the children, give you wild sex every night, be there day and night for you? I think your reply would be "of course not". My point is that there is no exact definition of "best spouse"; we can always be a little bit better. Are you being the "best spouse" for her?
Have teh two of you talked about what would be "expected" from each other for each of you to feel fulfilled? Have you thought about it yourself? This is only the beginning; I think you may be expecting a little too much.
