Another Sad Deployed Soldier/Dad

[Another_Soldier]

I know you all understand how hard it is not to let your mind run a million miles an hour. I am doing the best i can right now with this and that is why i am on here so i don't do anything stupid like call and get crazy on the phone or send any stupid emails or messages that would just make me backslide. Working real hard on bettering myself but today is one of those days. I have been keeping busy and ya know as well as i do that it is just too hard sometimes and we just have to crack or breakdown. I have calmed down within the past few min, just trying not to go over all this in my head. I can only spend so much time a day in the gym and there isn't a whole lot of anything else to do where i am. I can go back to my room and hang out and watch tv. SD you know just like i do that as a SR NCO it's kind of lonely at the top, not a whole lot of people we can hang out with and blow off steam and a lot of the SR's i have here are not very understanding and it's frustrating. that's how the 82nd is. Mental problems are looked at like a STIGMA and the 1st thing the 82nd does is try to put you aout of the army for that kind of stuff, especially if they have to re-deploy you for mental health reasons. Your only as good as your last accomplishment around here and i have to fight with that too. My PTSD and Depression that i had already been diagnosed with hasn't helped me much and i feel like i am already fighting to keep my head above water.

Just thinking about my kids and know i need to be their superhero is what i need ot focus on and it helps sometimes but today was just one of those bad ones.

Thanks ALL