Hello nik and luv, thank you for posting. I am sorry you are both here. i will catch up on your posts later, getting ready to head to bed.
nik ~ I understand your feelings. I know it is so difficult to try to let go of something that has been such a source of comfort for you. I have been single for 18 years and 5 months and married for 18 years and 4 months. I keep thinking how next month I have spent more of life with him then without him and it really is emotional for me. I will always love my husband but I know that we are not meant to be together. It took me a long time to get to this place. and it still hurts. praying for you
luv ~ we will probably have a difficult time during the holidays but I will be thinking of you. we must learn to make new memories and take care of our children. I have tried to focus more on my relationship with them since there is no since in trying to worry about my relationship with my husband anymore.
I have always been a calm, leveled headed person that hated any type of drama. I think part of my problem is the drama being forced on me and there is nothing I can do about it. oh well, this too shall pass
will talk to you both again soon night
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
I am off work for two weeks and have been sitting here getting sadder and angrier as the time goes by. I HATE the holiday season since bomb 1. I hate the time of year, I hate 'playing house' and I hate acting like the cute couple at family gatherings.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
Well, I did not go to his family's Christmas dinner today. I just could not stomach another day of putting on a show for others. It helped to have the few hours away from each other also. I got to take a nap and chill out. I am going to find a good movie on Netflix instant watch and make myself a Cosmo.
I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
Hey girl. You gave me some advice so I'm going to do the same. Remember what the Bible say, even when there has been adultry, you should still try to save your marriage. You see, God only recognizes marriage, not divorce. Divorce was invented by man, not Him. And even though you and your H will be seperated on the eyes of the law, your not according to Hos laws. And should you or him ever be with another person, you are now commitng adulty just the same as your H did.
Go to counceling. Go to church. It's the best thing I have ever done. If you haven't already, you and him watch Fireproof together.
I was taught to believe differently, that adultery is the the only way God does let you out of your marriage. But never in a million years did I think that I would ever even have to worry about that. Before all of this we played a big part in church. I have been back once since his first affair and had a panic attack sitting there. I have set a bad example for the kids and understand I will pay for that one day.
My husband and I did go to counseling, me individually and both of us together. We also saw the movie Fireproof but it did not seem to do any good either. With the first affair I was committed to counseling and rebuilding our marriage. After I discovered the second one, I shut myself off emotionally and promised myself that I was done. I was not going to let him hurt me again.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
Yesterday was the two year anniversary of the first OW. I went to Chili's with some friends and then stayed out all night with two of them watching movies. Did not want to come home. Came in today, took a shower and met some more friends for lunch and going to met another set for dinner. Last night while I was talking to one of my best friends, I came to the conclusion that I am not the fun person I used to be. I used to laugh, go to social functions and take the time to care about others. Somewhere along the way I have lost that fun me. Darn it, I am going to get it back! Watch out 2010. Here I come!
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
I am starting tonight. Finishing up my movie and then going to get ready. I am going over to a friend's house. We are just going to watch movies and play Apples to Apples but I still feel like I need to show husband that I am going to get on with my life.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
I know it is probably a side effect from feeling so stressed out at my job right now but I am so lonely. I am sitting here watching What Not to Wear and crying. Who cries watching a fashion show?! The girl on there said she had not felt beautiful in so long but now she does and it mad me so sad. I just want someone to acknowledge me, period. I need a hug.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
