Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Hi, ravenly! I meant to respond to your comments!

I think he needs a dose of reality on what a divorced dad's life is truly like. Meaning, I would put down definite boundaries on S that you are 100% comfortable with.

I was not offended--just was questioning how to give him the reality of a divorced dad without creating the impression that I am ready for D! I mean if I said "well, the parenting plan also states you see him 2 weeknights, 1 overnight, and every other Sunday" it seems to me that the discussion would lead into divorce.

2x4 time, said with much caring and hope for your situation.

Right now, your WH has it soooooo very very very easy. You are making this a walk in the park for him. Granted, the changes are for you, and for him to *see*, but he is doing far more than just seeing the changes but benefiting from them directly.

I was wondering how else he was benefitting other than dinner?

I think there is a very large grey area between giving him an easy ride into his actions/decisions and you pushing him for/into a divorce.

Remember your bakery analogy? I think that is so very fitting right now.

yes, I do think it's time to remove favorite pastries from the bakery but I also admitted I wasn't ready for NC because OW would get to see S more than one day per week.

So my distance/mystery strategy is in effect; actually Monday will be the first Monday that I leave.

And please be assured that I am not comfortable with my sitch, but am willing to sacrifice adjustments to the visitation schedule for the sake of the bigger goal (ala my DB coach's advice)

So I don't mean to be defensive; am trying to explain my actions and question the advice but am implementing many of y'all's suggestions!Please keep encouraging or disagreeing with me because it helps me to analyze my decisions and I really do appreciate everyone's support!!!