Now I will add that W has appologized a couple of times for what happened but she still continues the EA.
What did she apologise for?
If I am stabbing you with a knife while saying 'sorry' does that make you feel better? What's the point?
Ouch - no. She apologized for crossing the line with OM - for sharing/saying the things she did. Didn't change the sitch though - maybe she was really trying to relieve her own guilt?
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I have all ready granted forgiveness for what she has done
But she is STILL doing it! I can understand how you could accept the sitch and then forgive her for it but you don't sound like you have accepted it so how can you forgive her?
I did what I thought was the 'bigger' person thing to do. To not be petty because I still cared (do care) for her greatly. In retrospect I think it was weak and clingy on my part.
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I realize the importance of being amicable and friendly but how do we seperate that from being friends - where do we draw those boundries?
Treat her like a stranger - be amicable and civil.
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I gave her back all of the old letter and cards she gave me when we first started seeing each other 15 yrs ago. She seemed a liitle surprised and asked " You don't want them anymore?" I said no - didn't need them any longer and in a very (none emotional way)- said she could do what ever she wanted with them. She then acted a little aloof and said -ok. I mentioned that there was a letter I wrote 15 years ago that I never sent to her and she could have that too.
That just sounded a little childish if I'm honest. A little petty. She also knew she had gotten to you. Never let them see they are getting to you.
Ok. Maybe. I did this for me as a symbolic way of saying I am finally letting you go. These letters were essentially the roots of our realtionship. I met W when I was on leave from the military and we kept in touch through letters. (this was before the internet was well established) I was overseas and that was the only way we really had any contact, except a few phone calls. Anyway we both really shared a fondness for how we had devloped a great friendhsip through this. This connecton was one that was always important to both of us.
Much better to pack it all up into a box and put it away somewhere. Maybe in the future give her the box with everything in it and let her decide. But giving her the things she gave you from 15 years ago back just looks petty.
Remember those things are sentimental / important to YOU, not to her.
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was funny and that when I finished watching it to text her - did not matter what time she would be up. I am happy to say I didn't.
EXCELLENT!
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Wow sorry for the lenghthy reply.
If you want to see LENGTHY replies, go to my thread!
