Lying about feelings drags you to their level?

[SDFoundGirl]

Perhaps your H didn't realize your D noticed him crying? Prayers involve closing one's eyes...or maybe he wasn't bawling, just some tears. We adults often think we can pull the wool over kids' eyes, but when I'm not 100% okay, even my students know something is going on.

You're so hung up on this thing, and WHY? Do you just want to be right?

When my H were in-house separated, I *never* let him see me cry or lose it. I was also in IC, and I'd schedule 10-minutes every day to have my private cry or screaming time if I needed it. But telling H how horrible I felt or moping around didn't help my M, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, it didn't help ME get better.

What helped? Faking it 'til I made it. Getting a Life. Doing my 180s and WORKING ON ME. *That's* what made my H shrug of his EA and decide to work on our M together...and none of what I did is dishonest.

Private emotions are shared only with people you can trust your feelings with; your H can't trust you with his feelings anymore (you are rejecting him...this is NOT a slam against you, it's just true) so why would he tell you how awful he feels? He has no power in your R anymore, so why would he make himself even more vulnerable?

SD