I'm giving up, told W I'll sign at the end of FEB

[TooLateForMe]

I don't think she's nuts at all. She's been quite stable and kind up until 4 mos ago. Her main problem is being the other side to the codependency, that of the giver and I'm the receiver.

I have my own problems- emotionally stunted, critical parents who still criticize and belittle and withhold love, causing deep social anxiety, depression, fear of success, and I'm still convinced I can't survive without help from someone else. And I'm passive/aggressive.

She's working on her problems and I'm working on mine. Meanwhile, the sense of being a terrible person (brought on by the revelation of the assault) has quashed my sense of entitlement.

I also feel a little more perspective having agreed to the D. I held on so tightly that I couldn't see anything else. I let go and now feel a little more capable of living without her. I still love her and want her, but I can comfortably imagine life without her.