Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Looking for some help, make sure I continue down the right path. Still going strong, zero pursuit/no contact at all today, although I am still worried. Even though she works about 100 yards away from me, haven't seen her, haven't talked, haven't e-mailed, haven't TM'd. I did have my awkward moment of the day when what is essentially the CEO asked me how W was doing today, how she was holding up, is she sleeping. At least I could steer most the conversation to the sleep since we are sleeping in the same bed and that piece I know about.

Back to the help. As I follow Sandi's sage advice, no contact, and if after she gets home I follow the model with pretty short/basic answers to questions, I know the reaction I normally get. W will ask me one of three things, if not all three: Are you mad at me? What is wrong? Are you ok today?. "What is wrong" is the most likely question.

What is the best way to answer? I suspect by the time we get to this point, the kids and I will be well into our usual Fri night routine of pizza and movies. I could be wrong, but she hasn't come home before 9PM yet this week, so even if she comes home earlier than normal, it'll still be later.

I want to get this one right. I still feel we made a couple of baby steps forward this week, although she has pulled back some, she has not pulled back all the way to where we were a week ago. Need to keep even or another baby step forward.

Thanks in advance for any words of wisdom. Just being able to type and ask helps me.

Wonderful - appreciate the response. I am not in IC right now, to be honest, I couldn't if I wanted too because of job and basically being a full-time single parent these days. I feel like i've been a single parent for at least a month now and it has actually been rewarding and helped. It has made me see I could do this on my own to include the kids and has helped me come to grips with the reality that it might not work, but I can handle it all. If this does end up in S or D, I want my kids. I have not told W that, but she has hinted at it (tried to bring up the fact how much they have bonded with me, mad at the fact that they could turn to me so easily when I wans't this good of a dad for the years before) and tried to get me to talk about it. I think that would be counter-productive, so I don't discuss and change the subject. I do wonder if she is seeing how much she needs me these days for the kids. I think she might. She said to me the other day that it was comforting for her to know that the kids were being fully taken care of and she could take care of this situation with the death without worrying about the kids, even though she is missing them (finally...it is becoming obvious that not being with the kids is eating at her...so the EA/WAW fog might still be there but not as thick).
Lastly, I don't think I'd use the word anxiety to describe what I feel. Not sure what the right word is, need to think about that one.