Glad to help... when I read some of your initial posts I could just feel for you, because it was so recently that I felt the same way. I can see you struggling with detaching and the anxiety that comes with all this... and I could just relate.
I hope your approach today helps. Remember, it takes a while to see results so if it doesn't seem to do anything, don't waver. Stay strong. Let her come to you. Then you can be responsive and supportive... within your boundaries.
Regarding her going away to the funeral, I think it is important that you don't show the anxiety you are feeling. You need to appear as though you are fine, you and the kids will be great. Maybe plan some really fun activities for you and the kids. Remember... do it for YOU and the kids.
