I realize to the general population of this forum I probably sound rather unstable and perhaps nuts when I begin to discuss the legalities of divorce in NY.
I used to belong to another forum and stopped participating as I was the only member from NY going through a hellish divorce (in the legal sense I mean) and I would get berated on a daily basis for being cruel and not "divorce busting" properly because sometimes you just can't when all this legal BS starts. Everybody would say (the other forum members I mean) stop focusing on what your H and his attny are doing. WHAT? Sure, okay, I will just let a dirty/filthy attny file motion after motion against me just so I can try and be the "bigger person" and maybe my H will want to reconcile? Please pardon me but F*UCK OFF!
I might not very well equipped to converse about the emotional side of divorce as I just grew SICK OF IT ALL so all of a sudden I didn't care anymore but I do remember the pain. I am not an attny (yet, lol!) but I did dedicate nearly two years of my life educating myself (with the help of my AMAZING attny and his staff) on the policy and procedures of this mess of a family court system. Why did I do that? Well, I was not going to get screwed and I needed to be sure I understood 110% of the time what the hell my attny was talking about. And maybe I just needed to feel in control of something and knowledge was the only control I had. Also, when you are dealing with a snake as opposing counsel you either get rolled or get smart. Maybe I am not smart but I can assure you I didn't get rolled.
For a long time I listened to all the horror stories of divorce in this state and I thought.. "gee, our case won't be like that". LOL!
I understand not wanting a long and drawn out legal battle but once the momentum of the divorce case gets rolling it can't be stopped. Let's say you had a pre-trial conference and you or your attny could not attend. The court has SIX WEEKS to reschedule. That is almost two months. That is why all of this takes so darn long.
If you want I can post my case start to finish. To this day I honestly don't think my H had ANY clue what a snake he hired. That is why it is essential that you retain counsel that is not snake'ish (like my word? lol!) but is no wimp either. You need to retain counsel that will work WITH you AND FOR you.
I will butt out if I am making you upset. No hard feelings at all. I guess I should aim to be more gentle but divorce in this state is not a gentle thing.
