Thanks Jak! I miss seeing you on here but know you are super busy!
The alanon meeting was really good actually. The readings talked about boundaries in a loving way. Of course the Serenity Prayer is great. All things to keep in mind.
Exh sent a text during the meeting asking "Are you 2 home?" I never responded. He has a visit this afternoon. I am sure he wanted to come earlier as its more convenient for him.
I am feeling stronger, but know the stronger I get the more I piss exh off and the nastier he gets.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
GM, DF, and IWITW: Thank you and I do feel better. One thing is I realized I haven't seen exh since Monday. With him missing Wednesdays visit and not being able to come and go on a whim its been all week without him. Distance is much better.
I can't care that he is pissed. He has no reason to be pissed. Nothing really has changed between he and baby. Just between he and I. He can see baby all he wants to during his possible 12 hours of visit time a week. I won't stop him, but my time is my time and I am taking my own emotions back.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
GM, DF, and IWITW: Thank you and I do feel better. One thing is I realized I haven't seen exh since Monday. With him missing Wednesdays visit and not being able to come and go on a whim its been all week without him. Distance is much better.
I can't care that he is pissed. He has no reason to be pissed. Nothing really has changed between he and baby. Just between he and I. He can see baby all he wants to during his possible 12 hours of visit time a week. I won't stop him, but my time is my time and I am taking my own emotions back.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Another no show for today; Sent during scheduled time:
Exh: Won't make it today. Be over in morning. Me: Ok, have a good night. Exh: Don't need your fakeness! Me: Trying to be nice. Exh: No comment. Too late you think. Have a good night with baby.
I was trying to be pleasant and not have him think I was rude. Maybe I shouldn't have told him to have a good night and engaged. I want to show I am happy and upbeat, not mad at him, nor trying to keep him from her.
Why is he so bent out of shape? What is coming next?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Don't worry about showing him anything, he is going to see what he wants to see. Just keep it short and businss-like. Is he scheduled to see her tomorrow or is he assuming he can?
(And stop worrying about what is coming next!!! Whatever it is you will handle it!)
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Does he have scheduled time tomorrow morning? Next time, just say "ok." They can't handle politeness, (banter) etc., while you are establishing boundaries - makes their head whip back and forth too much. Just stick to the baby stuff - there will be time in the future for a more normal way of communicating, once he realizes that you are serious.
Next time, just say "ok." They can't handle politeness, (banter) etc., while you are establishing boundaries - makes their head whip back and forth too much.
That made me seriously bust out laughing picturing that! I can see exh with a bobble head all over the place. Too funny
Originally Posted By: bright_new_day
Don't worry about showing him anything, he is going to see what he wants to see. Just keep it short and businss-like. Is he scheduled to see her tomorrow or is he assuming he can?
(And stop worrying about what is coming next!!! Whatever it is you will handle it!)
I am going to handle it as it comes. For whatever reason when he makes comments like that it makes me wonder what he will be up to.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I am not responding. Hard to not respond with something.
Going to go watch my recorded "Desperate Housewives" from last Sunday.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
