Ok....I will practice compassion - just wish he would do the same.
If only it worked that way. Unfortunately, LBS's have to do the heavy lifting, at least for a while.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Cool... now how about changing your name to something like "TuffLuv" or "Luvseeker" .... luvless is a lie. There are too many people around who luv ya!
I'm just glad you still have faith in me G. I know I have to turn the negative into positive - for ME. I think I'm done sulking it's time to stand up. I miss my old H but if this is the new him I don't want anything to do with him.
I am going to be consistently positive and cordial while holding my respect boundaries.
I'm avoiding anger and resentment like the plague.
we all have faith in you. tell yourself everyday that you can do this. Tell yourself everyday that you love who you are becoming and who you are and what your going to learn from this.
It is SO very true that your H is hurting. and NO, this is NOT who the new H is. this is a result of his hurt and his inability to figure out how to fix it right now. You have a great advantage, and you can help lead him out of the darkness.
Really focus on you while he's gone, and focus on how you can start loving yourself and start enjoying your life. You don't need him to do this, it has to come from you. He is only a compliment to the beautiful you.
what plans do you have for yourself? anything fun?
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I just think like this..if he had a new girlfriend that text or phone call would be returned immediately - so it's hard to give the benefit of the doubt...just is.
BUT I do see your point. It does allow you to think more positively about the other.
so what did he do when you first met?
yes, that is how things go in the beginning, especially in the infatuation stage...but then that dies, the feelings go away, and you have to decide, do I want to continue loving this person. Love is a decision, and you have made a decision to love your H is sickness and health, and right now he is sick.
You have way more strength than you know. Do you go to church anywhere? That would be great to get involved in a group of some kind.
would love the change of name too! great idea!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
we all have faith in you. tell yourself everyday that you can do this. Tell yourself everyday that you love who you are becoming and who you are and what your going to learn from this.
It is SO very true that your H is hurting. and NO, this is NOT who the new H is. this is a result of his hurt and his inability to figure out how to fix it right now. You have a great advantage, and you can help lead him out of the darkness.
Really focus on you while he's gone, and focus on how you can start loving yourself and start enjoying your life. You don't need him to do this, it has to come from you. He is only a compliment to the beautiful you.
Wow this is really nice thing to say! I am focusing on me. I decided last night when I felt so sad that I wasn't gonna do this to myself anymore. I'm not going to dwell in sadness. I'm going to be more positive and make a change for me no matter what the hell happens.
what plans do you have for yourself? anything fun?
*****Yes I've made plans all week/weekend. I am keeping busy with good friends!
Last edited by luvless; 01/08/1011:57 PM.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
