Can I save my marriage?

[Lll54]

I actually did good the first two nights. I didnt initiate contact. He called me both nights, he began texting me first the second night. I ended it both times. But yesterday when I hadnt heard from him it bothered me. So I called. And I ended the texting coversation too expecting him to call before bed. But theN when he didnt I called him again. Even if he was sleeping coffen hear my call he would had woke up this morning and saw I called. Havent heard from him. I definitely will not be contacting him today. He is home tonight. As far as I know. He also hasnt been having to answer to a wife for three months so he doesnt feel the need to tell me when he is coming home.

[TrentC]

I actually did good the first two nights. I didnt initiate contact. He called me both nights, he began texting me first the second night. I ended it both times. But yesterday when I hadnt heard from him it bothered me. So I called.

That's how it is supposed to work, but he's the one who is supposed to be calling.

You're not going to make progress every single day. There will be days where things stay put, and you will have setbacks. The trick is to look at the overall changes being made.

[Lll54]

Ya that makes sense. It just worries me. How come the first two nights he wanted to call me and he wanted to tell me he loves me and misses me and then last night, nothing. Not a call just a minor text. Today, nothing. I just always assume the worst.

[TrentC]

And as long as you assume the worst and react accordingly, you'll have this issue.

Did he ever do this before the bomb was dropped? (As in, go off and not call?) Maybe you're more sensitive to it now...

[Lll54]

No he didnt. But maybe that is what lead him to leave. I know he has issues with me having to know where he is at all times. He wants a little freedom. And not to feel like he always has to check in with me.

[TrentC]

Sounds like an excellent 180, then.

Especially since rebuilding your relationship will involve rebuilding trust.

[chatterbug]

Britt. I think you should stay here. You will know when he has checked back in to the marriage.

[TrentC]

Hope everything is going well for you.

Since it's been a couple of weeks, I'm hoping you'll have a big, juicy update with all of the 180s and GALing and work you've been doing, right?

[Lll54]

Well my computer still isnt fixed and its so hard to update and read anyone else's situations on my cell. Hopefully get it back tomorrow and spend some serious time on here catching up. My situation is perfect at times and horrible at times. I have come to realize that I have a husband that wants to be married 50% of the time and single 50% of the time. Not sure how to handle it. He is taking it to the extreme. I an okay with giving him some freedom but not to party three times a week. Especially when he isnt a partier in the first place. Never has been. Not sure if he is testing me or if this is the new life he wants.

[Ready2Change]

...My situation is perfect at times and horrible at times. I have come to realize that I have a husband that wants to be married 50% of the time and single 50% of the time.

That must be hard.

Not sure how to handle it.

Do you want our advise?

He is taking it to the extreme. I am okay with giving him some freedom but not to party three times a week.

Have you set a boundary?

Not sure if he is testing me or if this is the new life he wants.

Is it the life YOU want?