Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Thanks Rocked. Nice to have someone that's been in such similar shoes and so recent.
I also just figured out part II of my issues this week, though it doesn't justify similar pursuing behavior previous - and that is EVERYONE is asking me how she doing, is she eating, is she sleeping, how is she today, etc, etc.
There is only one person at our work that knows we are having issues, a female friend of ours, and I don't know how much the friend does/doesn't know.
So it is draining continuing to act like there is nothing wrong and then there is almost a guilt of not feeling like I can answer questions about her during these trying times...questions everyone expects the H to be able to answer and questions I'd like to be able to answer!

So both factors are issues I need to resolve, like you said, for ME.

I already look forward too and dread at the same time the upcoming funeral where we will be apart for a few days. I dread the potential worries on my part--worries of them ramping up the EA again with OM and I look forward to hopefully some significant time to myself. When it happens, not sure exactly how I will react. Computer programs like Skype (where he was loaded last time I looked) make communication so easy and untraceable.

So far so good. Still at zero contact. It is lunch time here, so half a day and no contact, and none initiated by her either. Staying strong, not easy, but I am committed today.