I can't thank you enough for responding. You offer such great insight and compassion!! When you talk and when I read some of the threads it lets me know that someone does understands me and what I am going through!!! Friends and family can't begin to get it. They just say to dump the guy without realizing all that it entails.
I really believe my husband loves me (he still tells me and our friends that he does)and I also believe he truly thinks I never did love him. So backing off but letting him know he is loved seems to be helpful for him to come forward. And reading this forum has made this process so much easier.
Before I was so mad and tired of him treating me like crap. I now understand that he is in such a bad place that he doesn't even realize what a mess he is making of his life. Knowing this helps me to back off, give him his space and find a new place for me without so much anger and pain. I am a person that needs to have understanding. Since this all started a year ago I felt like I was in a surreal world and I couldn't see up from down. Black wasn't black anymore and white wasn't white if you know what I mean. But now I can give him grace and love with boundaries and let go of the hurt and anger.
I know this might not end how I would like but at least I know what I am dealing with and what I need to do for me which in turn might help him!
Thanks again for letting me share. I do have one more question. Which book best explains the 180 process? I am confused about exactly how to do this. And please give me any other advice you think might be helpful for someone just beginning to understand the MLC path they are on!!
