Moving back in

[DDogs]

This has been a productive day for perspectives, affirmations and encouragement... thank you..

Im going home after work, hang with my kids and then off to meet friends at a local very cool watering hole... keeping busy, keeping positive, smiling politely at W and being pleasant to be around...

[DDogs]

DD, I wouldn't worry too much about "being in her face."

I mean, so what? Your w said things like "WE" need to decide together, "WE" need to talk, then decide together....or some such sh!t.

The thing is, she wants to "DECIDE" and then you have to be a doormat and go along with it. That is what she means by "WE."

How lame is that? I say stay where you are and if your w "DECIDES" to take it to DEFCON 1, that is "HER" decision.

I like your descriptive style

(Kimmie Lee) DEFCON 1 = (Robx) Batshit crazy.
(Damn Dogs) not = doormat

I'm making a list

[DDogs]

Ok,,

W left 6am, working today and me home with the kids...

11am D10 comes in to BR and tells me MIL/FIL on the phone and want to talk with me.. I answer and ILs ask about the kids for 10 min, how they're doing in school etc... Then they ask how I'm doing, so I tell them that if they hadn't heard, I moved back in and have been here since 12/29.. They reply the hadn't but MIL/FIL express VERY happily they're glad I'm back in.

They tell all the great benefits of me being there for the kids etc...I reply that I agree and have still been having a great relationship with the kids since I'm back in..

Then FIL asks me how I'm doing,, and here is the part that I'm unsure if I acted correctly,,, I said that while the kids are ecstatic that I'm back, W is extremely pissed, so mad in fact that she filed for D the next morning...

I know not to get the family involved, but it was obvious that the IL's didn't know I was back so they probably didn't know about the filing either. So my thinking was that I'm not ashamed and I'm not going to hide/cover for the W, so I told them about W filing for the D and how she seemed to want this over quickly...

They told me that they were sorry and that they don't like what the W is doing... They asked why W was filing for D, so I filled them in on some of W actions, threatening restraining order, W deciding to move out 2/1, additional legal action, wants 100% of the kids, all assets etc... again, not ashamed but not covering for the W. Just told them the facts as they were..

After an awkward pause, FIL's supportively asks if I have an atty, yet and if I don't, he strongly recommended that I do.. I did not confirm but said I will wait and see if I get served, I'm keeping most of my personal info close to the chest.

So, while I understand that they are HER parents, the vibe I got was supportive and felt that they were very disappointed in W. Not that that means a lot but knowing the MIL/FIL, what they say is what they mean. Period.. they do not mince words. They told me that they were going to contact the W anyways this evening, but FIL reaffirmed that what I had said to him would stay between us,,, he is a man of his word with very strong principles, but whose to say regarding family???

My response to all of this,,,? I am getting all dressed up and going out with friends later this eve after the W gets home.

[Greek]

but FIL reaffirmed that what I had said to him would stay between us,,, he is a man of his word with very strong principles, but whose to say regarding family???

I think your honesty in only answering what was asked is fine. They may turn on you - it happens - but really do you need their support? You don't so it won't matter, except that you'll sting from it. But overall, I can't imagine any harm is done. It's not like you sought them out.

My response to all of this,,,? I am getting all dressed up and going out with friends later this eve after the W gets home.

Brilliant. Cheers!
Greek

[DDogs]

My response to all of this,,,? I am getting all dressed up and going out with friends later this eve after the W gets home.

Brilliant. Cheers!
Greek

Just a note to the readers on this board... Get off of your collective a$$es and go do something!! What a difference it does make... I go back to the beginning of my original post and see what a wreck I was...and then read thru the progress as I initiate DB and as I take action for myself.

Get back on track with my kids
Get checked out by my MD and address problems
Back on the Meds.. x2
Back in the house
DBing my F'n ass off.
Continue to detach.
GAL... (BIGGEST help ever)
Realizing W is Fogged
Continued efforts at standing up for myself

Easy,, F no... but it had to be done or I wouldn't be feeling the way I am right now...which is ok to good. A far cry from when I first posted:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1884981

I case anyone is interested how my night out was... pretty damn good.. I woke the W at 8pm who was sleeping on the couch and asked her if she was staying home, she said Yes, so I told her ok, I wanted to confirm you'd be here for the kids tonite and reminded her that I was going out, (freshly showered, shaved, scented and done up) she said ok,

Out was a good environment, met my F friends who in turn introduced me to their F friends..here is the surprise that I'm finding less and less surprising. Several other women, all about 7-10 yrs my junior, approached to talk to me.. and were obviously trying to keep a conversation going with me.. one actually grabbed my left hand to hold it "jokingly" looking for a wedding band. (I removed my band when W told me she filed for D)

Folks,, this has seldom happened to me before, so I am certain my positive attitude, self confidence and increased self esteeme, are coming thru loud and clear. Something that hasn't been there in quite some time... and its being noticed, SO, if others are noticing it W would have to be a "Brick" not to. So even if W does not acknowledge any of this, I'm sure she is still picking up on this... where that leads,,?


I have a continuing struggled with GAL, and doing things to make me happy.. I have come to realize that I'm caring less and less about the possibility of D, If W decides that route, I cannot change that.. I find myself focusing more on me and not US.. If W de-fogs, I'll address that issue, until then, I continuing on.

As a side note, when I returned home at 1am, W was retiring to the guest room. I then received 3 phone calls from friends and when I spoke, I gave limited yes/no, vague answers.

When I awoke this am, W was very cheery and later on actually came into the Master B to tell me what she was doing with the girls today.....quien Sabes?

(A far cry from Bat sh it crazy night 12/29)

[CityGirl]

Sounding good!

I am laughing at what you posted.. "Easy... F no!" LOL! Honest and accurate yet you are still plugging away and look how far you have come! You should put that in your signature line!

[Kimmie Lee]

You are doing great! I love it.

And it's kind of funny how much attention the LBS can get from the opposite sex.

And it's even funnier how the WAS often has the crazy idea that no one would want their LBS. What on God's Green Earth would make them think that?? Is that arrogant, or what?

LMMFAOPIMP!!!!!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Sounding good!

I am laughing at what you posted.. "Easy... F no!" LOL!

I know. As I read that, I'm hearing Robin Williams' hysterical "How Golf Was Invented" bit in my head!!

Puppy

[chatterbug]

You are doing great! I love it.

And it's kind of funny how much attention the LBS can get from the opposite sex.

And it's even funnier how the WAS often has the crazy idea that no one would want their LBS. What on God's Green Earth would make them think that?? Is that arrogant, or what?

LMMFAOPIMP!!!!!

Very true.

DD keep your chin up.

Either way I know you are going to thrive being you.

[lea74]

DD, just read your stitch and you give me hope!! Right now I feel like the bottom has fallen out again. If you have time would appreciate you having a look at my stitch and giving some advise as you seemed to have got it right.

Thanks,