Makes sense GW. I had the same issue as H carried on most of the communication with OW at work, when "working late" etc. When he was home, for the most part, I could be reassured there was very little, if any contact. So, my anxiety and pursuing behaviors were usually worse when H was at work. But, all the more reason to work on detaching re: work because YOU need to! If they have gone deeper "undercover", there isn't anything you can do about it anyway. But, the best chance you have to save your M is detaching and backing off. When you do have a chance to interact at work, be calm, confident... "act as if"... maybe be even a little mysterious and unavailable at times.
