And who knows, if your W accepts the grounds and doesn't contest the grounds and accepts your settlement offer all of this will be a non issue for you. I simply shared all this with you as something like 82% of all divorces in NY are contested. While mentally it bites that is also why 90% of ALL divorces are initiated via a Separation Agreement rather than divorce filings.
I have no idea what my W would do if I sued for divorce. Would she contest? I don't know. If she did, I don't know why. She left, she's been involved with someone else. How can she contest my divorcing her? When she thought her and OM were going to live some blissful future together, she would have taken pretty much anything I offered to get her out of the marriage, but now her tone has very much changed. A friend of mine who went through a process very much similar to you CityGirl advised me to get my agreement done while my W was in that state, as he feared it would eventually turn ugly, and now it has started down that road. I should have listened to him.
My friend's W did exactly what your H did. Just short of going to trial, she backed down and accepted a separation agreement.
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Professionally your W might simply agree to the grounds and your settlement offer as all of this will be public record. It would not bode well for her career to be sued for adultery for all her current and potential clients (patients?) to see.
That was my H's biggest fear - the info that would be on public record. His family had NO clue about OW until recently and the label of cheater via the legal system will never go away.
That's why a year ago when I told my W I wanted to divorce her she reared back and yelled "If you divorce me I'll never forgive you!" Wow.
