What you say is roughly why I asked about other familial female role models to act and/or model in-loco-maternis. Too bad there don't seem to be any .... you might have to get creative there. Girl scouts? Does she have any friends with really solid, loving, involved mothers that she might be able to spend more time with?

I dunno where Miss Someone fits on this continuum, but that seems fraught with complications .....

"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes.
Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert