Still snowing here, struggling a bit with my emotions, a bit mad H isnt here to help clear up the snow but at the same time proud of myself I managed on my own, been out and food shopped for the weekend as they are threatening more snow!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Good job just feeling the emotions and being independent anyhow. I remember way back in your thread when your H was MIA, you said it was your goal to do things for yourself that H would usually do. If you're like me, now that he's around more, it's frustrating to not have full partnership yet. I know it's a disappointment. But if we are to gain anything from this trial it is to be stronger in ourselves and do for ourselves instead of being dependent.
I's sure being snowbound would be more cozy with H to cuddle but you took care of business, and now it's time to curl up with yourself and make yourself happy and serene - more to give H when he returns.
The independance has definitely stuck now H4L, things like putting the rubbish out, I still try to do these things regardless of H being here, although bless him I have noticed he is trying to get in before me on some of these things now. The being apart has been good, he took pride in looking after his little place which he had stopped doing in our house, and some of that is starting to rub off here too! Well Ive got to clear the drive of snow today as S is coming home and needs to park! I have quite gone off snow now lol!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Your H has noticed that you've become more independent (now doing things he normally used to do) and this has rubbed off on him with him wanting to do more around the house. Continue to show him that you can be that independent woman even when he's there.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Thanks Addie I do try to stay as independant as best as I can!
Stayed up too late last night and S came home and started talking about his hols this year, hes going where we promised to take him for his twenty first which of course never happened cos of H going AWAL.. I was chatting to H on msn and I just got really fed up, he was being all bright and cheery and I just couldnt pretend for all the tea in china!
Went to bed only got five hours sleep and struggled so hard to get that and low and behold woke up in the same funk arrhhh think Ive managed to shake it off now, so annoyed with myself think its a combination of snow, pmt and getting too used to H being around and I havent seen him for the last six days and hes not back for two more days.
I went for weeks and months without seeing him and I could feel the needyness creeping in again, been very hard GAL at the moment as snow literally has stopped play in the uk, its too dangerous to drive at night as the roads are freezing into ice rinks, they did threaten more snow but hopefully it looks as if were done with it now! So onwards and upwards again I hope!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I notice that I am also battling with my negative emotions now that we are piecing. I think that once the anxiety and uncertainity of "will he or won't he leave me?" is resolved, it makes room for all the hurt and anger that has been bubbling under the surface to come up. I think we just have to be patient with ourselves to sort that out in time.
Also - finding the balance, once piecing, to GAL, do 180's yet still be re-building the M... I find that difficult too. I find the temptation to fall back into old patterns, become more dependent again, etc. are there. It is a daily battle of continuing the positive changes going. It is hard work.
Hang in there my friend! I hope your funk lifts and the weather gets better!
Ditto. It's easier to GAL with NC! This thing of us being together sometimes, and not others is hard. As you know with my birthday party - it's like, well we're together, but not really, or are we, or aren't we - how should I feel?
Remember to wait 24/48 hrs!~ Your feelings will pass. I'm sure it's hard to be independent when you can't do your usual things like riding the horse.
Feeling anger is normal and probably good - there's a lot of pain over their abandoning us. I feel it all the time - like, hey I'm glad we're in MC, and we're getting closer. But then you go back to YOUR APT or avoid MY BIRTHDAY. UGH>
Remember even when you;re back together you will have to tolerate your aloneness at times so time to do something nice for yourself at home - read a book? Take a bath? Hang in there.
Thank ladies for the moral support much appreciated, I usually top up my soul so to speak spending time with my girlie and have a serious case of withdrawal systems lol! Wont be long it will be spring again and she will be sick of the sight of her mum!
You both are so right in piecing its such a balancing game trying to do it all, and work full time and GAL is just exhausting, good job we all have each other to cheer each other one!
Would be lovely to meet up with you all one day, could you imagine trying to explain that friendship away to your H's lol!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
