Lying about feelings drags you to their level?

[TooLateForMe]

Fake it till you make it is a common and often successful way of changing unwanted behavior.

You're just bothered by the fact that he's not the wreck you want him to be. You're bothered by the fact that he has the gall to act as if he's not the monster you think he is.

It seems to me you want us to agree with you and your opinions so that you can feel justified in your actions. Either that or you unconsciously want people here to convince you to stop the D and begin healing.

That's not what this place is about. The reason everyone is focusing on you in this "generic" situation is that your H isn't here, you are. We can only deal with you and the impressions we get from your posts.

People here keep asking why you're posting her because we are concerned with stopping our D. Many of us have been very damaged by the loss of our spouses and you appear here with an inflexible desire to tear your M apart.

Your H realized that groveling didn't work, that appearing to be devastated made him seem weak and unattractive. Maybe he will fake it for a while and then move on with his life, perhaps better off than before, without you. Isn't the real reason this bugs you is because you don't want him to be better off without you? It is a bit of a blow to the ego, especially for a controlling person.