feel like giving up - talk to me!

[Bridgestone]

Example:

Pre-bomb days, I would text and/or StBX. He has a job where he can take calls pretty much when he wants.

He would take hours to get back to me. It was one way that I THOUGHT he was showing me how much I matter compared to what he was doing.

I THOUGHT that because *I* would drop pretty much anything I could as quickly as I could to get back to those I loved when they texted or called me... to show them how much they mattered.

So when the opposite was occuring by him towards me.. I THOUGHT he must not love me very much, I must not matter to him as much as the business. Because if *I* did those things that is the message i would be conveying to those who were trying to contact me.

My IC asked me to consider that he may not be thinking that negative thought I ascribe to him, when he doesn't get back to me as soon as I would get back to him. That he may be thinking something TOTALLY different..

like
I'm so swamped & stressed right now that if I call her, I won't be able to give her the love & attention she deserves from me, so I just won't call her until I'm in a better place to be loving & kind.

Change the negative thoughts to positive thoughts.
It will change your demeanor & outlook which may change his.

Now, does that mean my StBX wasn't thinking those negative thoughts I was ascribing to him, or that he did other actions to reinforce me having those perceptions.. I have no idea to the first question & it's a definite yes to the 2nd..

but I sure 'felt' better about him, choosing to thinking the positive when I could.