Pls help--confused and fearful

[P17]

{{{{{ DBD }}}}}

P, been think over this for a couple days, and maybe you are right. I'm also suspecting I might be under surveillance.

Do you think this just because he knew you're schedule?

Be very careful if you do think you are being watched. I would also pick the phone up and call the Police at the SLIGHTEST sign of anything out of the ordinary. You are a woman, on your own, with two kids. You need to be careful.

I have nothing to hide and not dating, so why even bother.

But he may not be looking to see if you are having an A with somebody. He may be looking for something as simple as you leaving the kids in the house by themselves, going out a lot, spending money, yada yada yada.

None of this may be accurate, but think outside the box. Have you mentioned this to your L? Have you thought a restraining order - don't know if it's an option or not, it's just to plant the seed.

WAH knew my schedule last night and wanted to come in the house w S. S is very very angry with him and didn't let him in saying he wasn't going to kick me out of the house because he left.

Why would S say he wasn't going to kick you out of the house? It seems an extreme jump from him just wanting to come in to S saying he wasn't going to kick you out.

(I wasn't home.) I think things are going to get ugly(ier) on WAH's part.

I think we all knew that though. Your H seems on a path to destroying you either emotionally, financially or otherwise.

I'm going to move out with the kids to a smaller house I can care for and afford. Once I get support.

What is going to happen to the current house?

I'm really tired of all this. I don't love this person and I'm not even seeing glimpses of the old him. It's doing tons to destroy what's left. Never expected him to treat me this way. I am sad and wanting to cry for what's been lost but I think I'm out of tears. I miss being loved and miss loving him. It's hard for me to imagine loving someone else yet I don't love this alien.

Try and think of these thoughts as good DBD. He is HELPING you to detach and making it easier for you. I know that might be a bit of a leap but every cloud has a silver lining ... so they say!

Tears have shown up, guess they aren't all gone. I'm tired of this... I want to move on and have him be a distant memory. Wish it didn't hurt. I'm ready to say goodbye.

You're not ready to say goodbye DBD. You're hurting too much. You may want to say goodbye but your heart is still clinging. Mine is too. It's natural. We need to get the head and the heart singing the same tune before we can do that. Judging by the other thread today (as it benotafraid's one) it will take anywhere from 1 - 2 years for that to happen, although we're all different. I can't see me waiting a year!